The Real Moral of the Story

School has started for many students, and lots of teenagers are being forced to read books and dissect them until anyone that says the word "symbolism" is stabbed by impulse. A lot of these books (and movies or TV shows, too) really have deeper meanings, or morals. For example, the moral of Theodore Geisel's Green Eggs and Ham is "Don't listen to silly kids who want you to eat moldy food." Here are some other morals to famous books and movies:

• The Great Gatsby: Don't get rich and throw parties in the 1920s.
• The Lord of the Flies: Never, ever, trust a conch shell to be your democracy.
• Animal Farm: Most talking animals are communists.
• 1984: George Orwell LIED about the future!
• Alice in Wonderland: If you do drugs, you may write a popular book that becomes a Disney movie
• Lost: Unless you want to get trapped in alternate time lines, you're better off with the kids from Lord of the Flies.
• Romeo & Juliet: If you are going to kill people over your girlfriend, at least be old enough to be in middle school.
  
• 12 Angry Men: Don't fall asleep if you watch this in history class. You may have a quiz later. I learned the hard way.
• Harry Potter: If you don't listen to the half-giant who broke down your door and told you that wizards existed, you at least won't have to face Lord Voldemort.
• Moby-Dick: Other than the shipwreck and the recent commercial, the most exciting part of this book is the first three words.

FAIL powered by Bing
People on the Internet are stupid. That's obvious from reading the comments on any YouTube video. But how stupid are they? I input the beginning to five questions into Bing and found that some of the most popular searches prove that little intelligent life exists on this planet. The questions were "What is a..." "When was..." "Where is..." "Why do..." and "How to...".
WHAT IS A barometer?
It utterly shocked me to see "barometer" show up on the top eight results. More people want to know about barometers than autism, which is surprising because autism is a condition that is hard to understand while barometers are... well, they're barometers. Nothing overly complicated about them. (Barometer is the sixth most popular search, Autism, seventh)
WHEN WAS electricity invented?
This wouldn't be a bad question except that it's asking when electricity was invented. As far as I know, Thomas Edison didn't invent electricity- neither did Ben Franklin, or the always popular choice of Albert Einstein. The correct question would be "When was electricity discovered?" The fact that so many people think that electricity was invented by some guy in a lab coat makes me seriously doubt the future of this world. (Electricity is the fourth most popular search here)
WHERE IS santa?
More people are concerned about where Santa is (4th), in the middle of September, than where Washington DC (8th) or "my stimulus check" (7th) is. Either a whole lot of kids who never heard the North Pole bit are using Bing, or the general public has forgotten that Santa doesn't exist. They didn't even capitalize his name!
WHY DO dogs eat grass?
Why is this one of life's great mysteries? Is it really that important that we find out why dogs eat grass? Much more important (2nd) than "why do we dream" (6th) , which I'd think is a perfectly normal question to ask.
HOW TO get pregnant
I'm not even going to say anything about this (8th). Also popular: How to recognize a meth house (4th), How to tie a tie (3rd), and How to draw (6th).

Bing has reaffirmed my faith in human stupidity. Other searches: "What is the... (Internet, 4th)" "Who is the... (Progressive Girl, 3rd)" and "Can you... (Freeze milk, 6th)"