- Ordering only food with prices that come out to an even dollar amount. "I'll have the fish taco, the supersized fries, and the large coffee. That's $9 after tax, yes, I know. I figured it out already"
- Composing complex arguments that the Titanic foreshadowed and symbolized the Great Depression. "There were all those rich people, see, and they thought that the Titanic would never sink. Oh, and Leonardo DiCaprio was there."
- Reading about water quality testing during college visits. "I'm sorry, what about the dormitories? I was reading an engrossing description of dissolved oxygen testing."
- Realizing several days after the Deepwater Horizon explosion that the oil spill can now be used as the punchline to any joke. "What's black, white, and red all over? BP trying to cover up the oil spill with bleach and food coloring"
- Observing the process of erosion by building a fort at the edge of the water at the beach. "'Come on, the water's nice and calm.' 'No, it's full of wrath and destruction. Just look at my sand castle!'"
- Making charts to compare the tile patterns of gas station bathrooms to its overall cleanliness. "8x1 inch wood tiles? Oh, no, we can't stop here!"
- Reading the licensing agreement when buying a song from iTunes. "Do I agree to... not misuse the copyright? Sure. Do I agree to... go to Microsoft and- HEY!"
- Comparing your lunch to radar images. "This piece of fried chicken looks like a hook echo! We've got to get out of here! But... no! We can't go out there- look at this onion ring!"
Friday, August 13, 2010
Warning Signs
Having no life is a serious problem, but with professional help it can be overcome. The best thing to do is catch early warning signs. Luckily, we have made a list of actions that may be a part of a bigger problem: Having no life. If you or someone you know displays these signs, seek help immediately.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
New Orleans
Recently, I was in New Orleans for the 2010 LCMS National Youth Gathering. It was great fun, and there was lots of fun things to do in the city to kill time. Here's a list of top ten things I did in New Orleans while I was down there:
10. Take a swamp tour. Did you know crocodiles are attracted to the color white? Also, white reflects light (and thus, heat) better than any other color. You'll want to wear a white T-Shirt and be as close to the water as possible.
9. Protest BP. We didn't actually participate in the protest, but we saw one. BP does not deserve a joke.
8. Limbo under the low branches of trees planted in city sidewalks. I never was good at limbo. It's rather embarrassing to be knocked down by a tree branch.
7. March around town with an "Ernie" doll taped to a stick. Yes, we did this, and yes it is Ernie from Sesame Street. Hold it high and with pride!
6. Moonwalk.
5. Shout "Aaay!" to everyone you meet. It became the traditional greeting of the gathering. Now that it's over you'll get some really strange looks.
4. Play "ninja" in front of the Superdome. There's only two ways to really play ninja. One, in front of a national landmark, and two, at a high-class party where everyone's wearing tuxedos, dresses, etc.
3. Pay no attention whatsoever to the streetlights. You'll only get confused when walking around the city. Also, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.*
2. Imitate the guy on the "walk" light. You know, the guy that comes on when the orange h
and is taking a break. Honestly, has anyone at any point in history ever walked like this? ---------->
1. Make New Orleans notice you. Proclaiming what we believed in was so much fun, and New Orleans took notice. They were great hosts. Thanks to everyone who had a hand in organizing the event!
10. Take a swamp tour. Did you know crocodiles are attracted to the color white? Also, white reflects light (and thus, heat) better than any other color. You'll want to wear a white T-Shirt and be as close to the water as possible.
9. Protest BP. We didn't actually participate in the protest, but we saw one. BP does not deserve a joke.
8. Limbo under the low branches of trees planted in city sidewalks. I never was good at limbo. It's rather embarrassing to be knocked down by a tree branch.
7. March around town with an "Ernie" doll taped to a stick. Yes, we did this, and yes it is Ernie from Sesame Street. Hold it high and with pride!
6. Moonwalk.
5. Shout "Aaay!" to everyone you meet. It became the traditional greeting of the gathering. Now that it's over you'll get some really strange looks.
4. Play "ninja" in front of the Superdome. There's only two ways to really play ninja. One, in front of a national landmark, and two, at a high-class party where everyone's wearing tuxedos, dresses, etc.
3. Pay no attention whatsoever to the streetlights. You'll only get confused when walking around the city. Also, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.*
2. Imitate the guy on the "walk" light. You know, the guy that comes on when the orange h
and is taking a break. Honestly, has anyone at any point in history ever walked like this? ---------->1. Make New Orleans notice you. Proclaiming what we believed in was so much fun, and New Orleans took notice. They were great hosts. Thanks to everyone who had a hand in organizing the event!
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