Back to the Future

26 years ago yesterday, the movie Back to the Future was released. It was the top-grossing film in 1985, staying on top of the charts for 11 weeks. Even today, it's still awesome. All of us have wished we had a time-machine DeLorean. Of course, there are some other things we wish were time machines too. Here's a list that traveled back in time to me from five minutes in the future:

8.8 Things that should be Time Machines

• Our own car: 88 mph and all I got was a speeding ticket
  
• PlayStation: It only does everything... except legitimate time travel. Oh, and securing your personal information
• Lawn mowers: Many a day have I slaved behind this machine, wishing to go back to last week when the grass wasn't so tall
• Macs: They're so happy and darn friendly- They have to be hiding something
• The Death Star: A movie that needs to be watched over and over again, sort of like Back to the Future
• Amelia Earhart's airplane: She didn't get lost on that last flight; she simply became the first person to circumnavigate the time stream
• The "Back" button on web browsers: Sometimes we all want to go back and erase our mistakes
• Skateboards: At the very least they need to be hoverboards, like in Back to the Future II
• The Free Parking space in Monopoly: This one might be a bit difficult to understand. A lot of people put their own variations on what Free Parking means. Is it just a blank space? Is it a jackpot space? Or is it-
  

Friday

In case you forgot...

(For some reason it looks like the original got taken down. Nice try, Rebecca Black.)

We all know who Rebecca Black is. The "star" of the now-infamous Friday music video, she has been ridiculed many times over on the Internet. Now that the commotion surrounding Black has died down, I'd like to offer her some real advice.

In just a couple years, Rebecca Black may be looking for her first job. Given the impact of her video, it may be tough for her to find one. She'll have to be skilled at whatever profession she chooses. Luckily, I have some suggestions for her:

10 possibilities...

• TGI Friday's (Now that we have the obvious out of the way...)
• Brainwashing Agent (You'd be surprised)
• Professional Seat Selector (If she could ever make her mind up)
• Disk Jockey (Partyin' Partyin' YEAH!)
• Congressperson (Partyin' Partyin' YEAH!)
• Amusement Park Ride Operator (Fun Fun Fun Fun)
• Janitor (Lookin' Forward to the Weekend)
• Dictionary Author (Fun, fun, think about fun - she knows what it is)
• Friend Locator (She's to her right- aay)
• Calendar Designer (She knows the days of the weekend... but we're worried that she may put too many Fridays)

And 5 that are out of the question...

• Singer (Should have seen that one coming)
• Suicide Hotline Operator (Enough said)
  
• English Teacher (No matter how hard you try, bowl does not rhyme with cereal)
• Professional Seat Selector (It's been three months already, just pick a seat.)

And finally,

• Any job anywhere that anyone has ever heard of "The Internet"