Skipping school is never recommended, especially the first day. If you do end up having to miss that first day, you better have a good excuse. I've come up with the top ten excuses you should use in case this very situation happens to you.
10. Got hired as economic aide for President Obama
9. The dog ate my homework, so I had to go to the vet
8. The computer ate my homework, so I had to go to an electronics store
7. Oprah gave me a free day off
6. Spent the entire month reminding Obama that he's now hit the big 5-0
5. Got fired by President Obama
4. The DeLorean overshot
3. Was part of the Libyan revolution
2. Got washed out to see by Hurricane Irene
And the number one excuse for missing the first day of school:
1. Was afraid Rebecca Black would release a new single about it
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Internet
For the past week, I have been without internet while my wireless network has been down. There are a lot of things that are not as exciting without the internet. I've compiled a list of what you should stay away from in case you ever have a similar problem:
10 Things Less Exciting Without the Internet
Editing Wikipedia - I haven't yet found the "Edit" button on my encyclopedia. Must be some weird formatting or something.
Watching Television - My show keeps getting interrupted by some weird marketing schemes. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a plot twist or not.
Fantasy Sports - I was excited for baseball until I realized that I'd have to keep track of the roughly 400 players who play every night.
Chatting - I called someone on the phone. They laughed and hung up.
Mail - No one in my generation has ever heard of "stamps". No one.
Search Engines - Spontaneous trips to he library take a lot more out of you than spontaneous trips to Bing or Google
Windows - It got bright outside, so I tried minimizing it, clicking and dragging... nothing worked. There wasn't even an exit button I could push.
Tweeting - To be fair, most ornithological creatures were already doing this before it hit the mainstream.
Facebook - On the bright side, my high school yearbook doesn't include FarmVille.
Fridays - I had just gotten used to Rebecca Black...
10 Things Less Exciting Without the Internet
Editing Wikipedia - I haven't yet found the "Edit" button on my encyclopedia. Must be some weird formatting or something.
Watching Television - My show keeps getting interrupted by some weird marketing schemes. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a plot twist or not.
Fantasy Sports - I was excited for baseball until I realized that I'd have to keep track of the roughly 400 players who play every night.
Chatting - I called someone on the phone. They laughed and hung up.
Mail - No one in my generation has ever heard of "stamps". No one.
Search Engines - Spontaneous trips to he library take a lot more out of you than spontaneous trips to Bing or Google
Windows - It got bright outside, so I tried minimizing it, clicking and dragging... nothing worked. There wasn't even an exit button I could push.
Tweeting - To be fair, most ornithological creatures were already doing this before it hit the mainstream.
Facebook - On the bright side, my high school yearbook doesn't include FarmVille.
Fridays - I had just gotten used to Rebecca Black...
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